Approach the Person.
1.
Once you
have been notified about a soldier in a grief or crisis situation
(and you
have your chaplain's approval), approach the person as soon as
possible
and offer to talk about the loss.
You should listen to the
person's
pain and suffering.
Don't offer any suggestions or try minimize the reality of the pain to the
soldier.
Instead reflect back to the person those feelings he is
expressing.
For example, you might state, "You must really feel hurt" or
"That must be a terrible loss."
Whatever you do, don't say, "I know how you feel", or "I once lost my
grandmother, and I felt ---", etc. At this point you only need to be with
the person and acknowledge their pain and suffering.
When appropriate during the visit, you may inform the person of the
following phases of grief. This might help him to understand where he is
presently located in terms of the grief and what to expect in the future.
Remember the phases are only a guide and may not be the same for everyone.
Denial.
o
("This isn't true!").
Anger (mad---at God or the one who died).
o
Bargaining ("If only it weren't so ---").
o
Depression (intense sadness).
o
Acceptance.
o
During the visit, try and make an appointment for the person to meet the
chaplain. Prior to leaving, offer to pray with the soldier, if they desire.
Brief the Chaplain.
2.
After you have concluded the session, at the first opportunity you should
brief the chaplain concerning the situation with the soldier. Remember to
share all the information received with the chaplain and only with the
chaplain.
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